And, neither are you.
In a disposable society we have all learned to adapt. No one will fit all of the thoughts and ideas we have created for the ‘perfect person’. In the expendable society that we have devised, finding and keeping the perfect partner is down right impossible.
We have created a monster. And that’s OK.
Women are waiting longer to get married and settling down. Men are enjoying their freedom just as much and loving every minute of it. But, when you ask them, a woman will say; “I thought I’d have a minivan and three children by now” men will say; “I haven’t even thought of forever yet”. You know, a little Men are From Mars moment.
It’s easy to find fault.
When we adapt to our relationships and know that you can trade in your latest partner for the next model (and coming from someone who hasn’t found the perfect partner I feel qualified to say that) no one can live up to the expectations we collectively have created. I should probably take my own advice but one of my girlfriends is going through this right now and I thought it was a good time to talk about it.
With the highest divorce rate in recent history, (I’ve unfortunately been there and done that) we all know people who didn’t make it for one reason or another. And, you can’t fault them. When two completely different people come together, molding your life and changing the way you do things can be a flat out nightmare. My advice if you’re going through it is a strong support system and a lot of tissues. The pain for me was unimaginable. I never ever thought it would be as emotionally disruptive as it was.
No one is perfect.
But enough about me. Seriously. When you have an ideal partner, someone who qualifies and fits in to the box you’ve created, you’re going to be disappointed. I hate to tell you, but no one will fit into your perfect ideal. And if they do, please let me know. I’d love to hear all about it. The point here is that, no one is perfect. You’ll have to take the good with the bad, exchange the little things you thought you cared about for the big things. Who holds you after a long day at work? Who makes you dinner when you’re hangry? Who do you want to cuddle with at night?
That’s what matters.
Remember the little things. Who do you want to sit on your porch with when you’re 80? Remember that just because he doesn’t fit into your magical little imaginary box doesn’t mean he isn’t the perfect partner.
Because he doesn’t exist.