“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”
― Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You
I remember going through a difficult break up and one of my darling girlfriends gave me the book “He’s just not that into you” and, while opening it, I cried. And, I realized that breaking up was just part of that story. My story. Our story together. We loved, we learned, and now it was time to move on.
I loved you first.
There is no love like your first love and nothing can replace it. When you don’t know how much a broken heart hurts, you love with your whole heart. After that first heart break nothing else hurts the same way. Everyone after that becomes a learning experience. A moment in time that you shared and then when your time together is over it’s time to move on.
Even getting married doesn’t promise forever.
Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. We both gave it the best that we could. We tried. We loved and we cried and we even got a dog to bring us together. We bought a house, cars, and things and they didn’t fill the void between us. A small town NH girl and a big city Texas guy go together like oil and water. But, to this day, he’s become one of my best friends. Yes, we hurt each other. Yes, we made each other cry. But, today we can laugh and cry and love each other the way we couldn’t when we were married.
Everyone else is just a stepping stone.
Everyone else you love, you date, you spend time with are all just a stepping stone to the right one. So, when you’re feeling melancholy about your love life or taking advice from all of your single friends remember that we’re all in this together. We all want love, happiness, and forever. We’ll all get there, right? When your person walks into your life at the right time, you’ll know it.
So until then.
Recognize the signs. When he’s not that into you, you’ll know it. He’ll friendzone you. He’ll all of a sudden get very busy. He’ll be distant or he won’t be around. That’s the worst. When he’s on the phone but not laying with you. Or he’s telling you you’re the love of his life and he’s no where to be found. Don’t be that girl. Don’t give into words when we all know that actions speak louder than words. You can do this.
You are strong.
But you must do it. Alone. Your girlfriends can help you. Trust me. Your friends will all have an opinion. They can listen, and talk, and give you advice but only you know in your heart when the red flags are there telling you to bounce. It’s like a beacon. A warning. A signal in your stomach that tells you to retreat. So, do it.
You deserve more.
So. Make it happen. How many nights do you want to fall asleep crying, dreaming, wishing he was there. When you knew all along, that he just wasn’t that into you.