Two-year-olds​ have it made.

This weekend I got to go to work.

Not the normal Monday – Friday 9-5 gig where I usually get paid to think, negotiate, socialize and challenge myself. No, this one was different. I was the backup to the backup. As in, our parents were out-of-town. This job was free of charge and I had a start time of 10am both days. I got to change diapers. Negotiate with a strong-willed two-year-old (talking to a brick wall may have been easier), rock a precious baby to sleep, eat lots of snacks, and hang out with the family. Sometimes, we call this forced family fun.


There is a baby under that blanket

So, let’s get to the point. This weekend, I clocked in as Aunt Katie.  I’m teaching my two-year-old niece how to swim, there was a lot of singing “push the water, push the water, kick your legs, kick your legs” and then ten minutes into it, it’s time to change adventures.

And, then, I realized. Two-year-olds have it made. 12508811_10153810110185102_2500701156071950727_n.jpg

They can throw a temper tantrum because they want their mom.

I would love to do that once in a while. Hey, Mom, come on over here and hold me, feed me or sing to me. Just.Hold.Me.

Two-year-olds have the attention span of a fish.

As in they are always moving, thinking, exploring, and are ready to start the next adventure. As an adult your friends and family may start to wonder what’s going on upstairs if you did that.

Two-year-olds tell it how it is.

They don’t sugar coat anything, they don’t relish in anything but giggling and having fun. This two-year-old does at least. That’s my girl.


Sleep is imperative in their world.

I can relate. My favorite safe place is my bed. But, I can’t throw myself on the floor and cry because I want a nap. Although, that’s how I feel when I’m exhausted. Then again, who doesn’t?

Don’t let a small child get hungry.

You will unleash a monster you didn’t even know existed. For about three minutes. Then as soon as they have some food in their belly, everything will return to normal. All the things I wish I could do as an adult. Have a temper tantrum because I’m tired, hungry, or miss my mom? That sounds legit to me.

So this weekend, I learned a few things.

First of all Grandma’s are crucial. The glue if you will. I usually just give the babies to her when it’s time for a diaper change or someone is having a meltdown.


Sisters are important.

They get to become the backup to the backup and hang out together all weekend long. And, then go home and get a good nights rest, perhaps sleep in past 6:08am and then come back and kick it all day. Grateful they’re your babies. And, Aunts can just play with them. You got to do all the work, and we get the rewards. In small increments. It’s wonderful.

And, the last thing I learned was…oh, to be two again.

Nobody is perfect…

And, neither are you. 

In a disposable society we have all learned to adapt.  No one will fit all of the thoughts and ideas we have created for the ‘perfect person’. In the expendable society that we have devised, finding and keeping the perfect partner is down right impossible.

couple holding hang

Photo credit:

We have created a monster. And that’s OK.

Women are waiting longer to get married and settling down. Men are enjoying their freedom just as much and loving every minute of it. But, when you ask them, a woman will say; “I thought I’d have a minivan and three children by now” men will say; “I haven’t even thought of forever yet”.  You know, a little Men are From Mars moment.

It’s easy to find fault.

When we adapt to our relationships and know that you can trade in your latest partner for the next model (and coming from someone who hasn’t found the perfect partner I feel qualified to say that) no one can live up to the expectations we collectively have created. I should probably take my own advice but one of my girlfriends is going through this right now and I thought it was a good time to talk about it.

30 blogs to help you get through a divorce

There are 30 blogs to help you get through a divorce.

With the highest divorce rate in recent history, (I’ve unfortunately been there and done that) we all know people who didn’t make it for one reason or another. And, you can’t fault them. When two completely different people come together, molding your life and changing the way you do things can be a flat out nightmare. My advice if you’re going through it is a strong support system and a lot of tissues. The pain for me was unimaginable. I never ever thought it would be as emotionally disruptive as it was.

No one is perfect. 

But enough about me. Seriously. When you have an ideal partner, someone who qualifies and fits in to the box you’ve created, you’re going to be disappointed. I hate to tell you, but no one will fit into your perfect ideal. And if they do, please let me know. I’d love to hear all about it. The point here is that, no one is perfect. You’ll have to take the good with the bad, exchange the little things you thought you cared about for the big things. Who holds you after a long day at work? Who makes you dinner when you’re hangry? Who do you want to cuddle with at night?

rocking chair


That’s what matters. 

Remember the little things. Who do you want to sit on your porch with when you’re 80? Remember that just because he doesn’t fit into your magical little imaginary box doesn’t mean he isn’t the perfect partner.

Because he doesn’t exist. 


Girlfriends make the best friends.

Every girl needs girl friends. There’s the neurotic, the systematic, the processor, the secret keeper, the advice giver, the one you don’t actually want advice from but love to talk to and hang out with, the ones you call at 2 in the morning when you can’t sleep, the motivational speaker, and the blind supporter. Everyone needs girlfriends. And, I just described all of mine. Who, combined, share all of these traits.


The Neurotic. 

She’s intense, she’s on point, and you can not fuck with her. She gets stuff done and she’s usually the best at everything she tries. Her house is notoriously clean and her life is put together. You can count on her. She’s there for you when you need someone almost to a fault. She will come over at the drop of a hat and make sure you’re ok. She’s one of my favorites.


The Systematic.

She’s a nurse. She’s loyal and does the exact same thing every day. You know where she is, what she’s wearing, and how she’s doing. She has this adulting thing down. She doesn’t worry what you think about her because she’s too busy organizing her car, her house, or her desk. She’s a doer and she knows how to get things done.


The Processor.

She’s four steps ahead of you. She knows what she’s doing before she wakes up, she gets to work two hours early, works hard, and has a system. She doesn’t mess around. She’s busy working out, keeping her body in shape, and eating well. She likes everything done 1,2,3 in that order, and appreciates if you could keep your life as organized as hers. She’s an Accountant. A Financial Planner. She’s busy, organized and structured. But she makes time for you and she loves with everything she has.


The Secret Keeper.

Everyone has secrets. And, I hope you have girlfriends that know how to keep them. Secrets are important. They are the foundation of trust. They are what make a relationship work. I like secrets. You can tell her you buried a body in your back yard and she’ll never bring it up again. She’s key.

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The Advice Giver.

This is who you want to talk to when your world is crumbling. She knows how to speak in a language you understand. She will tell you you did this to yourself or she will tell you the world did it to you. She will give you advice a shrink would never think of because she can talk to you in ways that only you two understand. And, she’ll let you absorb it and then tell you it’s time to move right along, and get over it. Get over that guy, get over that problem, get over how you were hurt and don’t make the same mistake again. But, when you do, she’ll be there.

The Blind Supporter.

She went Ivy and got a 4.0. She is legit and little bit blind to the whole life thing. She trusts you and loves you and believes everything you do is literally the best thing since sliced bread. She is the one you call when your ego needs a boost or you’re down on your luck. She knows how to make you feel special and she takes her job very seriously. She knows the difference between right and wrong but doesn’t really care because you’re her friend and she’ll support what ever decision you make. She’s the cheerleader and you love her.


I had to throw Dallas in there.

To wrap this little number up, the most important thing to remember is that your girlfriends should have your back. They drink the kool-aid with you, they listen, cry, and give advice when you need it. So do yourself a favor and make good girlfriends, because at the end of the day, you need them and they need you.

It’s not you, it’s me.

And, I’m watching Suits. I’ve also been up for hours.

It’s not Making of a Murderer it’s better. Full of; smoking hot, smart guys, legal jargon, and emotionally unavailable men.

I can relate. Apparently, I’m a magnet for them. And, I’ve heard I’m the same way. Like attracts like apparently.

Anyway, let’s get down to business.

Dating mishaps, emotionally unavailable men, and train wrecks are pretty much where I am. Dinner, dates, and talks. Blah, blah, blah. I’m just like, well, that was fun, I’ll go back to my little life now.

I liked my little life, working, hanging out, eating, exercising, and just being a chick. A chick. Out of the spot light, a chick who just got her work done and didn’t run into the local store and hear she was on the front page of the paper. Above the fold. AGAIN. Well, that was nice, can I just buy this cheese, please?

So, let’s talk about you. Everyone we know has been in love and made mistakes. Yours truly has. Shocker, I know. But, it’s just a part of learning.

Being young, dumb and in love didn’t work out very well for me. And, I can start with my marriage, so hopefully it’ll work out better for you.

Watching Suits has brought me back to the basics. Looks don’t matter if you feel lonely, sad, or second place. What I’ve learned is that looks aren’t everything, hot guys may not be everything, but they do help.


I threw that in there for your viewing pleasure.

The “It’s not you it’s me” line is one I’ve used a number of times, but it’s just not us is what I’m trying to say. You and I don’t mesh, we don’t click anymore, what we had is over. And, then, when that line was used on me and, I thought, wait one minute here, that’s my line.

It didn’t make it any easier. Breaking up is never easy. And, Suits uses that line all the time. Whether it’s a new relationship or a long term one, whether you’re the one breaking up or being broken up with, it’s not easy. We covered this in He’s just not that into you. But, keep that one in mind. It’s not fun to be second place to a career, life, or anything else. No one wants to be second. Even in a world where everyone gets a trophy, you don’t want to hang up a second place anything.

You can’t go to sleep with a laptop, a paycheck, or your work. So, treat the people you have in your life right. Remember that they are special and even if they aren’t right for you, they’ll make the perfect partner for someone else. Save the “it’s not you it’s me” line and enjoy what you have right now.

Because some day it may not be there to hold you when you’re tired, sick, sad, or hungry.

He’s just not that into you.

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?”
― Greg Behrendt, He’s Just Not That Into You

I remember going through a difficult break up and one of my darling girlfriends gave me the book “He’s just not that into you” and, while opening it, I cried. And, I realized that breaking up was just part of that story. My story. Our story together. We loved, we learned, and now it was time to move on.

I loved you first.

There is no love like your first love and nothing can replace it. When you don’t know how much a broken heart hurts, you love with your whole heart. After that first heart break nothing else hurts the same way. Everyone after that becomes a learning experience. A moment in time that you shared and then when your time together is over it’s time to move on.

Even getting married doesn’t promise forever.

Trust me, I’ve been there and done that. We both gave it the best that we could. We tried. We loved and we cried and we even got a dog to bring us together. We bought a house, cars, and things and they didn’t fill the void between us. A small town NH girl and a big city Texas guy go together like oil and water. But, to this day, he’s become one of my best friends. Yes, we hurt each other. Yes, we made each other cry. But, today we can laugh and cry and love each other the way we couldn’t when we were married.

Everyone else is just a stepping stone.

Everyone else you love, you date, you spend time with are all just a stepping stone to the right one. So, when you’re feeling melancholy about your love life or taking advice from all of your single friends remember that we’re all in this together. We all want love, happiness, and forever. We’ll all get there, right? When your person walks into your life at the right time, you’ll know it.

So until then.

Recognize the signs. When he’s not that into you, you’ll know it. He’ll friendzone you. He’ll all of a sudden get very busy. He’ll be distant or he won’t be around. That’s the worst. When he’s on the phone but not laying with you. Or he’s telling you you’re the love of his life and he’s no where to be found. Don’t be that girl. Don’t give into words when we all know that actions speak louder than words. You can do this.

You are strong.

But you must do it. Alone. Your girlfriends can help you. Trust me. Your friends will all have an opinion. They can listen, and talk, and give you advice but only you know in your heart when the red flags are there telling you to bounce. It’s like a beacon. A warning. A signal in your stomach that tells you to retreat. So, do it.

You deserve more.

So. Make it happen. How many nights do you want to fall asleep crying, dreaming, wishing he was there. When you knew all along, that he just wasn’t that into you.

Tinder. And, don’t tell my Mom, he was DTF.

Someone gets to go home with this guy.

And, I can tell you from experience that if you’re looking for Mr. Right Now you’re in the right place.  Tinder is apparently where to go when you realize that there must be nothing better. If you’re on Tinder be prepared for an experience that you won’t exactly want to write home about.
Yeah, this isn't going to happen.

Yeah, this isn’t going to happen.

I can’t even imagine trying to tell my parents; “Hey Mom, I met this great catch on an on-line dating website, you’ve heard of that right? He was half naked and husband material.  He was totally DTF.” She would look at me with her big blue eyes like I was completely insane. And, in her really innocent, adorable way, ask me what DTF meant. If you’re not sure, please review the first picture. And, we can have a little talk about the acronym. 
On that note, how much attention do you need? We have married men, we have butts, we have costumes and we have desperate souls looking for love in all the wrong places. If you are looking for love, look next door. Look at the girl down the street, the guy you see at the coffee shop. Look at the person right next to you who likes to do all the same things you do
Trust me, it will save you a lot of explaining.

Netflix and Chill.

I’m drinking the kool-aid and loving every moment of it.


Just like the rest of the Nation, I’ve gotten caught up in the drama, the OMG, and the what the hell just happened moments of Making a Murderer.  As we all know, binge watching Netflix has become a part time job in this joint.

As I’m in the process of going through the justice system myself, I had to turn it off during the interrogations because getting a confession from two people who have below average IQ’s hardly sound like an honorable thing to do. I was infuriated and it hit a little bit too close to home.

Let me back up. In case you have been living under a rock or haven’t had the chance to binge watch the Netflix series Making a Murderer, put it on your to do list, stat.

This isn’t a spoiler alert. It’s the story of a man in Wisconsin who was wrongly incarcerated for 18 years for a crime he didn’t commit. And, then, the story begins. I won’t give you many details because you’ll have to see it for yourself.

But, put it this way, it includes a little incest on Avery Way (that’s just a guess but when you see how much they all look alike you’ll understand), poverty, redneck’s who can probably put a car back together with their eyes closed, and like I said, a lot of below average IQ’s.

one-does-not-simply-watch-one-episode-of-making-a-murderer_cf5153fd3a1You’ll come out of this thinking you should have been a lawyer. I did at least. A criminal defense attorney who can prove that this man was set up. I mean, you looked in the same 10 foot bedroom three times and didn’t find a key until the fourth round. Puhhhhleease.


I’m obviously not a lawyer. I don’t have any kind of legal background other than marrying a cop, but I can tell you there is something corrupt and unjustified in what happened to this family. But, then again, with what is going on today, you read about it all the time.

Unarmed men are getting shot by men in positions of power (phew, so far, the women have been keeping their guns in their holsters where they belong and using their words to dilute situations, shocker) you have a race war, a man running for president who thinks we should start branding our fellow American’s (we’ve been there and done that, you may remember hearing about Adolf Hitler) and it makes you wonder where we’re heading.

This can’t be good.

I’m not going to preach about who to vote for or what to believe, I’m just telling you that the series Making a Murderer will make you think. You’ll think about how you would handle being locked in a room for hours being told what to say. When you have a 16 year old in special ed classes being told what to write, that is what he will do, he is learning. And, he literally just wants to go home and watch the WWF wrestling match.


Once you’ve seen it, you’ll get that one. It’s no joke, just draw this and draw that for me right here, Brendan, you’re doing just fine.

Thanks for the jail time O’Kelly.

I’ll wrap up this number on Making a Murderer because there’s literally too much to say. There are so many questions and the most important one is, did Avery do it? There is a dead woman with his blood in her car, a woman who never got to walk down the aisle, or carry on her own life and that’s what’s important to remember. No matter what kind of injustice we have here, there is someone who’s life was cut short for no reason at all.

When you’ve had the chance to catch up on it, let me know. There’s no shortage of phone calls between my girlfriends and I asking each other, WTF just happened?

Ladies, it’s our turn.

“Women’s dearest possession is life, and since it is given to her but once she must live as to feel no torturing regret. For years without purpose, so live as not to be scarred with the shame of a cowardly and trivial past. So live that dying she can say: All my life and all my strength was given to the finest cause in the world. The liberation of womankind.”

Alice Paul, 1885-1977, author of the Equal Rights Amendment in 1923

They call it the Suffrage Movement because that’s just what it was.

The Women’s Right Movement and a women’s right to vote began in 1840 and was finally made a national law in 1920.

Our woman Susan B. Anthony of Massachusetts joined the movement because she was not allowed to speak at rally’s as her male counterparts had. And, she knew that things needed to change.

There are obviously a lot of details that go into changing an entire philosophy and a way of thinking in a nation notoriously run by wealthy Anglo-Saxon men and for the women before us, it was an entire century in the making.  Women were beaten, tortured, and murdered for speaking out and asking for an equal chance to voice their opinions.

As you read above, Alice Paul, was also one of the many leaders who was instrumental in the Suffrage Movement. She dedicated her entire life to bring equality to our nation, spoke to Congress time and time again, and was tortured, force fed, and beaten for her beliefs.

Now it’s our turn.

Growing up my father always told my sister and I that we must vote in every election we can. He always said “women died for your right to vote” and I honestly don’t think that I’ve ever missed a chance to vote.

On that note. Let’s make this happen.

It’s time for a political revolution. No matter who it is that you believe will lead our countryin the right direction is admirable. Just do it.

If you live in NH, take the 15 minutes to make your voice heard.  Please. Do a little research though and be sure that who ever you fill in that little left box’s name with, it is someone you actually do believe in and trust. As we all know, we’re in a time of turmoil and don’t really need to add any fuel to the fire.

We set the standard for the rest of the nation we have to act like it. Millennials, ladies, and gentleman, let’s make a change. Together, let’s get a higher voting percentage then we’ve ever hit.

On Tuesday we get to vote in the Primary, let’s show the women before us that their efforts were not made in vain.

Dear Future Husband.

With Valentine’s Day or Single’s Awareness Day coming up, depending on which one you’re celebrating this year, I thought this was the perfect time to write an open letter to my future husband.

I’m not sure if I’m exactly qualified to write this letter, my first marriage was a complete disaster, so I thought I would take some of the lessons I learned from that and apply them to my future self and future hubby. So, here we go.

Dear Future Husband,

We did it! We got married. We got through the easiest part of the start of our life, it was stressful, but seriously, who doesn’t love weddings?

Things to remember. 

This isn’t going to be easy. But we can do it.

We’re two separate people who are in love. We cannot lose ourselves in each other. Like the lovers before us who made it work we will fall in and out of love and that’s ok because we know that at the end of the day there is no one else we’d rather to go home to.


Be my best friend. But, don’t worry. We have our own friends. And, our own lives away from each other. I have a killer network of girlfriends and have no intention of losing them, but I want you to be a sounding board too. I want to listen to you and what you have going on and be able to offer my advice. I want to talk things out.

Push me.

Make me communicate with you. I tend to shut down when I’m frustrated or sad, but don’t stop. Make me talk it out. Let’s never go to sleep mad.  It sounds cliche but that didn’t work for me the first time around, so I won’t let it happen this time.

I’ll go ahead and learn something from that quote.

I may resent you for making me talk about my feelings, because that’ll be something new but it won’t last for long. You may resent me for pushing you. For making you talk, but we’ve got this.

Appreciate what we have.

We’ll make each other better people by just being in each other’s lives. We’ll change and grow and navigate the world around us together.  Let’s complement each other. We’ll appreciate that we both work hard. And, as they say, team work makes the dream work.

I promise to be loyal and always be here for you. I promise that when things get tough, I’ll be by your side. Just don’t let me get hungry, I can be a bit of a monster when I’m starving. You’ll probably be able to relate, so I promise to pay attention to your needs too.

Let’s have shared interests. That’s key.

Let’s go on adventures. Lots of adventures. Let’s explore. Together. The things both near and far from us so that we can build memories.

Space is crucial.

I’m guessing you’ll be as independent as I am so we’ll have to respect each other’s space. Time to be alone. Time to think, to process, to just be. Otherwise, what a huge disservice we’ll do each other if we get clingy and needy.

I can’t wait to meet you and start this adventure. I know that you’ll be the perfect cherry on my cake and together we’ll get through this crazy little thing called life.

Love always,

Your favorite Boo